Update (2008-12-27): Koumes21 wrote a new version using x86 assembler language. Ever got tired of Windows Live Messenger constantly nagging about how important it is that you protect yourself from viruses? Or do you just want to send the developers of Windows Live OneCare safety scanner to some darker place for their great job with creating the slowest application in cyberspace history? Anyhow. I got tired this afternoon and came up with this (at least in my opinion) great idea: Why don't I write some small program that acts like an anti virus software but actually does nothing? It should be economic with disk space and run in no time whatsoever. Well, I did write that program. And it worked like a charm. All you have to do is to download the exe-file from here (no viruses, promise!), stuff it away anywhere on your hard drive and tell Live Messenger to use it as its anti virus protection.
Disclaimer: The application was not designed to protect you from viruses, but rather the direct opposite. If you are concerned about the health of your PC, use modern anti virus solutions! For those of you interested in coding - here's the (very advanced) source code: fakeav.asm
format PE GUI section ".text" code readable executable mov eax,1 ret
Compile it using flat assembler